Relationship Talk: After it's all said and done.....Can you really be friends with your Ex?

The question at hand is.....Can you really have true friendship with an Ex. Your relationship obviously fell apart for some reason....but, in your heart you don't want to lose this person. Maybe, it's the fact that your secretly still in love with them or you still can't accept the fact that this person will no longer be apart of your life anymore. After a not-so-bad breakup, there is usually a gray area as to where to go from here; which is usually an option between never seeing or hearing from them again or trying to develop some type of non intimate relationship. It's even more complicated for couples that were friends before dating. Making the decision to become friends after dating can also turn into a very negative experience, depending on either persons intentions. The opportunity to take advantage of the other person may exist, especially if the person was heartbroken after being dumped. They can become very vulnerable and risk the chance of the other person requesting friendship in order to not be obligated as a girlfriend or boyfriend but, still wanting to use the other person in their vulnerable state. Listen, if you feel like your Ex is stringing you along or playing mind games, you need to end the so-called friendship. There should never be an in-between status of your relationship, unless you both are okay with that. I believe that friendship after a break-up is possible as long as you are willing to be completely okay with things that friends would share with each other. That would include, hearing details on the other persons new love life, accepting that once your Ex finds someone new their time will be occupied with that person, knowing your boundaries, changing your expectations and not living in the past. If these things are recognized and you can accept it, then friendship is definitely an option. But, If you secretly still have feelings for the other person, it can be a very hurtful and confusing experience to go through and you may just be hurting yourself in the long run. Try your best to be honest with yourself and your Ex and if you can mutually handle the new status of friendship....then all the best to you and your new friend!